So much love for these crazies right here.
High school wouldn’t have been that awesome and that great had I not met you guys. I am so thankful for all of you.
I am lost.
People are steering me into the right direction but I just can’t figure out if I’m doing what they tell me to do because I want to or because I have to. I guess it just doesn’t matter, does it? In the end, I’d still be taking up a course that wasn’t what I had in mind, in a university that was not even my first or second choice. But hey, I have made peace with it. I have accepted it. There’s nothing else I can do now anyways. Practically everything I do is dictated by other people. And that fucking sucks.
It’s hard to cheer up here when you’re getting pushed around. But look on the bright side, I almost always manage to pull through.
For the first time in a long time, I feel totally and unequivocally happy.
The week didn’t start off so great. I had too much things on my mind. Between college shit and other stuff, there was absolutely no room for smiles and laughter in my life.
Everything changed, though, when I met up with you.
Spending time with you keeps me sane. You never fail to plaster happy grins on my face. It’s awesome, really, how you could easily change my mood from grim to ecstatic in just a few seconds. I’m forever thankful that I was with you today. The euphoric state that you put me in could last for days.
Simply put, you’re my happy pill.
hope you’re not addictive
I have loved and I have lost but I have learned.
I have loved. I have appreciated and adored the different beauts in my life. Great things happened to me and they have changed me in ways that I cannot count. My emotions have led me to bliss and I have experienced submitting to eternal happiness. I had fallen for such greatness that had convinced me to believe that life was amazing.
I have lost. I have felt pain and I have suffered. I went through emotional and physical stress that hurt me beyond repair. I became damaged. My feelings were torn apart and my view of the world shifted. I became negative and there too, were times of depression and self-denial. I have given up many times before which now leads me to believe that those times didn’t count at all.
But I have learned. I have learned to stand and let go. I have moved on. I found out how to see through the lies and the fake actions. I now know how to evade all the bullshit and the crap that are thrown my way. My wounds have healed and though scars were left, they remind me never to let the weaker side of myself resurface. I learned to survive. I learned to live.
I finally graduated!! After four years of the most ambiguous thing ever
(high school), I’m finally moving on to college!! Hihihi
Still, it hurts to think that I’m not a student of CHST anymore. I’ve been going there for twelve years and I’m about to make the biggest change in my day-to-day life. It’s not that easy to say goodbye to the life that you’ve been living ever since you can remember. It’s not that easy to move on.
I’m still not ready. I don’t think I’ll ever be.
DBTI Graduation Ball 2014
Even though I hated dances and I hated gowns and I hated make up and I hated all the sparkle and the glitter, I endured them all the whole night just for you.
Check out our Prom kicks.
so here’s the thing, guys.
i just had a sucky week and tons of bullshit were thrown at me and the amount of tears that were shed is freaking unbelievable and there were times that i was capable of murder and times that i wanted to forget everyone and i’ve been going home late everyday and everything’s going against me and i haven’t gotten enough sleep in days and there was absolutely no time to rest and i have to worry about my clearance and i hate the way i look right now and graduation is in two weeks and i don’t want to leave home yet and college is fucking scary and life is just really going by too fast…
but today was an awesome day and I had so much fun and for the first time in days i was really really enjoying myself so, hey, let me just post this awkward selfie in celebration of the greatest ending to a fucked-up week.
Maybe this is all just a dream.
Maybe everything in life is just a mere figment of my imagination. If that’s the case, then I wish for it to never stop. For even though there is darkness that seeps into me every night, the light that comes after makes up for it entirely. It is much more compelling.
If all the things that I have come to know are untrue, then I choose to savor the blissful false reality. Happiness, once felt, can never be taken back nor forgotten. Curse the lucidity that would pull us away from the wonders of living. It’s a shame to let the awareness of pain and horror distract us from seeing the clear beauty in every single thing.
So who cares if this is all just a dream? Maybe I don’t want to wake up.